Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
