i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
