He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
