If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
is wine microwaveable?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
