I am in a vortex of obligation.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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