How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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