dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
