Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
