Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
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