Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
