My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
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she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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