Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize