ya dads aren't the best wingmen
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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