So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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