Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
