North Korea, Best Korea!
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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