Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I got her a Nickelback box set.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
