He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
