We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
