Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
