Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
