Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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