real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.