redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.