pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
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I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
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Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.