I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
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I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
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She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
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