would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
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