Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
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why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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