I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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