My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
