dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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