great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
