I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Randomize
