hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Randomize
