SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Girls should come with a carfax report
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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