I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Randomize
