i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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