Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You were trust falling into bushes
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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