I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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