i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
