So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
