I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
This is classic penis vs brain.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
