Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
