Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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