PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Only a mothe r could love this liver
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
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