I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize