haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
it was like eating out sand paper
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
