All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Randomize
