Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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