So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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