How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
i drank out of a bidet.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
