the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
i think i just lost a toe
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
