people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
