I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Randomize
