Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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