I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
this is an emotional support booty call
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize