Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
