I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
