her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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