Sry I called you an 8
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
