Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
You work out of a Hotel?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Too much gin, very little bucket
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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