So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
