I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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