Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
