I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
