White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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